You hear bad news. Loss of a loved one. Loss of a job. Loss of your health. You feel numb. You feel anxiety. You feel so many different emotions. Rest is the farthest thing on your mind. No rest for the weary.
I lost my husband. No, not in a mall. Not lost in a remote place. He was only 6 miles away from our home. He was in a nursing home that I went to almost every day for more than three years. Then he passed away, and, there were so many elements of him that I lost.
I lost the drive to go to his nursing home.
I lost the trips to Starbucks to pick up his favorite coffee drink.
I lost the opportunity to cook meals for my husband.
I lost the opportunity to wash his clothes, so they would smell of Downy.
I lost the opportunity to help get him washed up. Teeth brushed. Hair oiled and brushed.
I lost the time to read scriptures and daily words to him.
I lost watching Joel Osteen and Judge Judy on tv with him.
I lost going to church services with him at our old church, The Potter's House, and church services in the nursing home.
I lost trips to Elway's for lunch with my husband.
I lost going to plays, movies, the mountains, and day trips with my husband.
I lost him coming home for a home cooked meal. Strolling in our familiar neighborhood with our chihuahuas as a family.
I lost the silence, that now becomes so loud, between two people that had become one.
I lost my other half.
I lost so much when I lost my husband.
May we both find rest.